9 signs you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you
Relationships are based on respect.
Having fun with you, or even loving you in a way, isn’t enough if they don’t respect you.
Feeling disrespected is one of the fastest ways to erode your self-esteem. It can also lead you to resent the person who isn’t respecting you.
Furthermore, Dr. Carla Maria Manley, a psychologist, says that when respect is present, partners feel more appreciated, seen, and safe in their relationships. When respect is lacking, partners will feel wary, angry, and deeply resentful.
Relationships are poisoned by a lack of respect.
It may be time to reevaluate your choices if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you.
If the person you are dating doesn’t respect you, there are some sure signs:
Your feelings are dismissed or diminished by them
Feelings are universal, and a relationship should be a safe place to express them.
But a partner who doesn’t respect you won’t respect your feelings either.
If your partner says you shouldn’t feel what you feel, or makes you feel foolish for having the feelings you do, then he or she does not respect you.
Clinical counselor Angela Caruk says, “This is because your feelings will appear to them as an inconvenience or a threat, so they will control your behavior.”
2) They don’t speak to you
The silent treatment is not a healthy way to resolve disagreements in a relationship, regardless of how common it may be.
Those who don’t respect you may use silence to gain their advantage.
It’s not that having a healthy relationship means constantly chirping at each other.
But there is a difference between a comfortable silence and a weaponized silence.
Silence can often spell the end of a relationship, according to Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute.
You are talked over by them
A partner who doesn’t respect you will also talk over you.
It’s rude to do this to anyone, but it’s especially problematic in a relationship.
Generally, people who talk over you don’t respect your opinions and views, and don’t see the need to listen to what you have to say.
It doesn’t matter what else you do or say, if they don’t respect what you say.
This can also mean…
4) They don’t respect your boundaries
It has been said that good fences make good neighbors. Well, strong boundaries make good relationships as well.
My biggest pet peeve is shopping. I can handle a quick trip to the supermarket for groceries, but a long, drawn-out weekly shopping trip drives me crazy.
Consequently, my wife does all the grocery shopping for us. She respects my boundaries, and I do other household chores to compensate.
If your partner doesn’t respect you, he or she won’t respect your boundaries either.
There are many ways to do this.
As well as asking you to do things you have said you aren’t willing to do, they may invade your personal space, not allow you to spend time alone, or pressurize you physically.
However, ignoring someone’s boundaries is a sure sign that you don’t respect them.
5) They pay too much attention to others
You can demand certain behaviors from your partner if you’re in an exclusive relationship. That’s not controlling.
It can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between the two.
The person in a relationship has the right to have friends of the opposite sex as long as there are no romantic feelings involved. However, there are times when someone in a relationship shows too much affection to people outside the relationship.
Social media has made temptation everywhere, and some people may spend way too much time online liking thirst trap posts. It may be a work colleague, a friend, or even someone they don’t even know.
While jealousy doesn’t look good on anyone, it’s okay to expect your romantic partner to show you more affection than they do to others. If they don’t, it’s possible that they lack respect for you.
They don’t take your feelings into account
People around us can be hurt by things we do unintentionally.
When your partner does things without thinking about your feelings, that’s a sure sign they don’t respect you.
Maybe they buy big items without you knowing. Maybe they engage in pastimes you don’t like, or behave in ways you don’t want.
You may think that your partner is being controlling when confronted, but it isn’t too much to ask that he or she considers your feelings when doing something that may hurt you.
They probably don’t respect you if they don’t.
7) They tell lies
Lying to your partner can hurt you for a number of reasons. One is that it shows that they don’t respect you enough to be honest.
One of the top reasons why relationships end is lying, according to Dr. Barton Goldsmith.
If someone lies to you, they don’t respect your ability to handle the truth. Maybe they don’t believe you’re intelligent enough to catch the lie. Maybe they don’t believe you can handle the truth.
Regardless of the reason, it indicates a lack of respect for you.
8) Your accomplishments aren’t celebrated
Partners should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders in a healthy relationship.
If your partner doesn’t help you celebrate your achievements, that may be a sign of disrespect.
Your accomplishments, whether at work, in a hobby, or in fitness, should matter to the person you’re with.
Your work isn’t respected by them
The fact that we can’t all be CEOs, heart surgeons, or theoretical physicists doesn’t mean we can’t respect what others do as a living.
Even the lowest paid or least prestigious jobs are worthy of respect, especially from a romantic partner. If your partner mocks your job or says it’s easy, that’s a sign they don’t respect you.
